Once i realized life ain't what it seemed , i sat back and took a deep breath , and thought of all those who are missing out on what is coming next .
I knew a man who was dying but never had the chance to say my goodbyes to, this man passed in the year 97, and his death took me by surprise , i had never known anyone who died before and now i have, all i remember was how fast the whole thing hit me , death became a fact realised for only a few moments , pondered further and gone like it never happened ,it became a reality in my life that i had to deal with , it didn't add nor subtract out of how i feel , i felt the same ,nothing interesting to mention .
When my mother and i argue i feel like my anger towards her will make the earth shake so hard engulfing all ,swallowing her deep and spitting her out across the universe all the way to the other side of nowhere, she means the world to me just because its the way it goes, children feel miraculously attached to their deliverer its simply human nature ,and blood does run thicker than water.I declare that I'm ready to do whatever it takes to make her satisfied , but is she ever? she is never , there is always something wrong with that i am doing , and when I'm not then its with what I'm saying , and if i don't then its definitely what I'm thinking, her obsessive motherly "givingly "behaviour is definitely separating her from the truth that lies in front of her , it is clouding the only judgment i seek , my mother's opinion is the world i want to live in ,and yet so unattainable .
To whom this may concern , i miss you and out of everyone i know ,its you i have been described as , and it matters to me what you thought and what you said always encouraged me , you taught me half what i know , i owe my imagination to you , R.I.P !
All those who have fallen out by choice or by misconduct and have lost the privilege , GET LOST.
It was later when i found out that loss isn't bad as much as it can be good , life isn't hard only if you choose your life to be , and death is there around the corner waiting for you unannounced,u cant avoid it but you can be able to construct your exit in a way that is satisfying to yourself and the people around you by making their life and your life with them barrable ,by getting involved and involving them you will assure that they remember you ,and that departure will add and subtract to emotional growth and will affect whatever hasn't happened waiting to happen.
